Crazy Jokes

  

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I know 10 facts about you:

Fact 1: You are reading this.

Fact 2: You can’t say the letter ‘m’ without touching your lips.

Fact 3: You just tried it.

Fact 4: You’re smiling.

Fact 6: You’re smiling or laughing again.

Fact 7: You didn’t notice I missed fact 5.

Fact 8: You just checked it.

Fact 9: You’re smiling again.

Fact 10: You like this and you’re going to click the like button. :) ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Crazy Jokes

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Dad enters his son’s room and finds him fast asleep on his books, tired of exam studies.

He walks closer to him and plays with his hair gently and softly.

AND

BanGGGGGGG………………….

Slaps his face!!!!!!

and said

“Last seen on whatsapp 1 minute ago”              

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Goodbye, Mother!!!

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. “Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that you look just like my son, who just died recently.” “I’m very sorry,” replied the young man, “is there anything I can do for you?” “Yes,” she said, “As I’m leaving, can you say ‘Good bye, Mother’? It would make me feel so much better.” “Sure,” answered the young man. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, “Goodbye, Mother!” As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. “How can that be?” He asked, “I only purchased a few things!” “Your mother said that you would pay for her,” said the clerk. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Watch out!!!

Two drunken men were driving home. The first started screaming: – Jim, watch out for the wall, watch out for the waaaaall! Baaaaam! They hit the wall. The next day in the hospital the first man asked his friend: – You good for nothing, I’ve been screaming for you to watch out, why didn’t you? Jim answered him: – IT WAS YOU DRIVING!!! ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Throw it all into the river

A preacher, completing a temperance sermon, spoke with great fervor! “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d throw it all into the river.” With greater emphasis, he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d throw it all into the river.” And finally he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d throw it all into the river, too!” As he took his chair, the song leader stood and announced with a smile, “For our closing hymn, let us sing number 365:” “Shall We Gather at the River.” ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Right Answer

Little Johnny walked into the house shortly before noon. “Johnny!” his mother cried, “what are you doing home from school so early?” “I got the right answer to the question.” Beaming with pride, his mother asked, ” question was that?” “Who put the thumbtack on Theresa’s chair ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Blonde In Trouble

A blonde, brunette and a redhead run to the top of a burning building. Below, a few firefighters are holding a blanket telling the redhead to jump. When the redhead jumps the firefighters snatch the blanket away and she hits the concrete.  When the firefighters ask the brunette to jump she jumps and again they pull the blanket away.When the firefighters ask the blonde to jump she replies, “I don’t trust you, so just put the blanket down and back away.” ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

$40 Service 

A dentist’s phone rang. The lady on the other end was very angry. “You charged $40 to take out my little boy’s tooth.” – she cried. “Isn’t it $10 anymore?” “Yes,” said the dentist, “but your son screamed so loud, he scared three patients out of my waiting room!” ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sink a Submarine 

Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: You simply knock on the submarine’s door!!! ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sleeping Problem

An exhausted looking blond dragged herself in to the doctor’s office. “Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.” “I have good news for you,” the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. “Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over.” “Great,” the blond answered, “I’ll try anything. Let’s give it a shot.” A few weeks later the blond returned, looking worse than ever. “Doc, your plan is no good. I’m more tired than before!” “I don’t understand how that could be”, said the doctor, shaking his head. “Those are the strongest pills on the market!” “That may be true,” answered the blond wearily, “but I’m still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it’s hard getting him to swallow the pill!”

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